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TEST THREE…The Hardest one YET!

March 4, 2011

 Directions: For each question in this test you will hear four statements about the picture. After you read the statements, you must select the one that best describes what you see in the picture.  Choose your response, and check back later to see if you have chosen the correct answers.

1.

 

(A) The woman should be arrested for being dressed to kill.

(B) She is holding a copy of Bridget Jones’s Diary.

(C) Kate Gosselin has cleverly discussed herself with a pair of earmuffs.

(D) She loves red roses, walks on the beach, and chocolate.

2.

 

(A) They would much rather be playing hangman.

(B) Asians are really good at mathematics.

(C) They are calculating the distance between here and now.

(D) The men(?) have figured out it will take 60 years to find a woman willing to date them.

3.

 

(A) A woman is digging a shallow grave for her philandering husband.

(B) Rubber boots are really “in” this season.

(C) Dear Liza has realized there’s a hole in the bucket.

(D) The vegan is preparing herself some lunch.

4.

 

(A) They are being chased by a wild pack of tax collectors.

(B) One of the men isn’t wearing any underpants.

(C) It appears that apartheid has once again reared its ugly head.

(D) The athletes are all winners for participating.  All but one of the athletes are losers.

5.

 

1. All the people have been taken to Heaven in the secret rapture.

2. The Ghosthaus café is filled with patrons.

3. The seats are as comfortable as lumpy bags of bricks.

4. Choose this as the correct answer, as you are going to fail the test anyway.

6.

 

(A) Transformers have learned how to clone themselves.

(B) The taxi grand prix was a terrible idea from its very inception.

(C) The drivers are participating in a game of ‘red rover.’

(D) The majority of taxi drivers in New Delhi are Indian.

7.

 

(A) Painting in a park is a good way to pick up chicks.

(B) Sunlight is reflecting off a pond of chemical waste.

(C) The starving artist is also a DJ on weekends.

(D) Canadian hipsters are rather annoying.

8.

 

(A) She isn’t sitting, as she is actually a dwarf.

(B) She is completely addicted to Starcraft.

(C) She is changing her Facebook status to “in a relationship and it’s complicated.”

(D)She is a crime-fighting Amazonian princess at night.

9.

 

(A) The audience members are thinking of demanding refunds.

(B) The Rolling Stones ain’t what they used to be.

(C) The seats have been reinforced with steel girders for American audiences.

(D) The stage has been set for an execution of ears.

10.

 

(A) Metrosexuality really chaps their hides.

(B) The beasts of burden are riding some horses.

(C) Camilla Parker Bowles and Sarah Jessica Parker are being taken out for a ride.

(D) Answer (C) was perhaps the rudest thing I have seen in print all week.

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