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Test 4: The most difficultest test yet!

March 11, 2011

Directions: For each question in this test you will hear four statements about the picture. After you read the statements, you must select the one that best describes what you see in the picture.  Choose your response, and check back later to see if you have chosen the correct answers.

1.

 

(A)   There are no attractive people in the beauty shop.

(B)   The bald man obviously does not need a haircut.

(C)   There may…just MAY be a member of the Cosa Nostra in this picture.

(D)   The men are using blue smocks to cover their shame.

2.

 

(A)   Someone has just sent a text message to Ashton and Demi.

(B)   Sunglasses can be used as a stylish hair-band.

(C)   The woman is unable to hold the I-Phone with her arthritic fingers.

(D)   The man has discovered that the woman’s lifeline is rather short.

3.

 

(A)   The surgeons are removing the plunger from Glenn Beck’s ass.

(B)   Gray’s Anatomy is the stupidest show ever.

(C)   Two of the men are actually gay porn stars.

(D)   Most of them are being paid to stand around and do nothing.

4.

 

(A)   Sausages are a popular dish in Germany.

(B)   The bicycle seat is enjoying the view.

(C)   Spandex is the greatest invention ever.

(D)   All straight men currently studying this photo are retching.

5.

 

(A)   The Mormon couple have come to the city in search of a sister wife.

(B)   Good God the woman doesn’t know how to coordinate patterns.

(C)   The man hasn’t purchased clothing since he attended college in 1991.

(D)   “How much is that fatty in the window? The one with the waggly…well, everything.”

6.

 

(A)   Holiday Inn now offers spouse-swap suites.

(B)   Charlie Sheen has hidden a whore under one of the beds.

(C)   The floor also functions as a giant-sized checkers board.

(D)   A portrait of Salma Hayek as that one-eyebrowed artist adorns the Tijuana hotel room.

7.

 

(A)   The woman should be in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband.

(B)   The man should have learned how to give his wife an orgasm after 25 years of marriage.

(C)   The woman is shocked at the lethal smell of her own gas.

(D)   The man also owns a kilt made from the same fabric as his shirt.

 8.

 

(A)   You should always ignore people crying out for attention.

(B)   Canadian hipsters are rather annoying.

(C)   Ginger hair is the Devil’s mark for witchcraft.

(D)   Most people are unaware that Kirsten Dunst is a Canadian hipster.

9.

 

(A)   The men have caught nothing but herpes.

(B)   The men are masters of bait.

(C)   “Carpe diem” means “seize the day,” not “fish of the day.”

(D)   If you didn’t get the joke in (B) then you have once again failed a TOE-ICE test.

10.

 

(A)   The vegetables really ought to be in a nursing home.

(B)   The fruits really ought to be in a gay bar.

(C)   You will never get back the last two minutes of life you just wasted on this test.

(D)   The writer of this test really ought to be in a mental institution.

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