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Good grief…an even easier test for you morons.

March 19, 2011

Directions: For each question in this test you will read four statements about the picture. After you read the statements, you must select the one that best describes what you see in the picture.  Choose your response, and check back later to see if you have chosen the correct answers.

 1.

 

(A)   The man is creaming onto some hot buns.

(B)   A light snack is being prepared for Rosie O’Donnell.*

(C)   The man is proving that “milk does a body average.”

(D)   A cup has been filled with non-fat, soy-milk, and hence is poisonous. 

*Substitute with “Dawn French” if you are from the UK.

 2.

 

(A)   Fanny packs are both functional and grotesque.

(B)   The man is handing the woman what seems to be a giant scab.

(C)   There are only two silly geese floating in the water.

(D)   Once again Hollywood has cast a white actress in the role of Sacajawea.

 3.

 

(A)   Bob Marley is rolling over in his grave.

(B)   The only thing more annoying than Canadian hipsters are white people with dreadlocks.

(C)   The hipster version of The Dating Game is conducted online.

(D)   The woman is browsing through a selection of douche-bags.

 4.

 

(A)   The man is convincing the woman that he is a fun ride.

(B)   The joggers are bloggers on the topic of loggers.

(C)   Michael Douglas is taking his daughter to the amusement park. Oops! Sorry Catherine! My mistake.

(D)   The people have severe cases of athlete’s foot.

 5.

(A)   Debby Boone now works as an entertainment coordinator at Shady Pines Nursing Home.

(B)   The speaker is causing the audience to age prematurely.

(C)   Women over 60 are required by law to have the same, short hairstyle.

(D)   The lecturer is extolling the virtues of a high fiber diet.

 6.

 

(A)   The flight is headed to Hell, with a stopover in Sin City.

(B)   The staff for United Airlines is hard at work, or hardly working.

(C)   The employees are arguing about who should open the door.

(D)   The peak tourist season at Baghdad International Airport is always chaotic.

 7.

 

(A)   The man is examining scenes from Disneyworld using a Viewmaster.

(B)   The scientist has discovered a new form of discovering.

(C)   The man has an IQ of 170 but a sperm count of two.

(D)   The doctor is studying the contents of six containers which hold samples removed from Charlie Sheen’s nostrils.

 8.

 

(A)   The man is wearing sunglasses so that women are unaware when he is staring at their breasts.

(B)   The woman is unaware that the man is studying her breasts.

(C)   The man is not only too sexy for his shirt, but his pants as well.

(D)   The woman doesn’t realize that the man is performing an act of lewd behavior with his invisible genitalia.

 9.

(A)   The woman is staring longingly at items she will never be able to afford.

(B)   The woman is frustrated at how capitalistic society has become.

(C)   The woman is too depressed to wear any colour other than black.

(D)   The woman is thinking that, in spite of being an anti-Semite, John Galliano does amazing work.

 10.

(A)   The new border patrol measures between the US and Mexico are outrageous.

(B)   The wall is feeling “great.” How are you doing?

(C)   The Great Wall and Donald Trump’s ego are the only things visible from space.

(D)   The archaeological crew is searching for Humpty Dumpty’s remains.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Jacquie permalink
    March 20, 2011 12:19 am

    Ok I’ll try this one, although I suck at multiple choice tests. =P

    1. C
    2. B
    3. D
    4. A
    5. C
    6. C
    7. B
    8. D
    9. A
    10. D

    • March 20, 2011 1:31 am

      Sorry, unfortunately you failed. You will need a heck of a LOT more practice tests to pass the OFFICIAL official TOE-ICE test.

  2. Jacquie permalink
    March 20, 2011 6:52 am

    Ok! Willing to practice more! 🙂

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