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Out of the goodness of my heart…another practice test just for you!

March 28, 2011

Directions: For each question in this test you will read four statements about the picture. After you read the statements, you must select the one that best describes what you see in the picture. Choose your response, and check back later to see if you have chosen the correct answers.



(A)   The Lilliputian is strumming the giant violin.

(B)   “And one time in band camp I put this bass up my…”

(C)   They are playing an acoustical version of “Friday” by Rebecca Black.

(D)   The boys have collected a sack full of cash from passers-by who have begged them to shut the fuck up.


 (A)   The man is crossing his legs like a flaming homosapien.

(B)   Tom Ford says that a gentleman should never wear shorts in the city.

(C)   The woman is a raving bitch until she has her morning cup of Joe.

(D)   The man is suddenly excited as his name is Joe.



(A)   The blind date has been as successful as an ice store in Antarctica.

(B)   The woman cannot stop scratching at her pink-eye.

(C)   The man has shaved his head so that people won’t realise he is balding prematurely.

(D)   The woman is depressed as “balding” isn’t the only thing the man does prematurely.



(A)   Lock your doors and hide your livestock…the Amish are coming! The AMISH are coming!

(B)   The men are taking their pet on a stroll to a glue factory.

(C)   Love and marriage actually go together like salt on an open wound.

(D)   The courtiers mistakenly thought Kate and William were getting married in the West Indies, instead of Westminster Abby.



(A)   The men are cranky because they are constipated.

(B)   The woman in the background would like to drink your blood.

(C)   Businessmen are simply a waste of space.

(D)   These three mooks would never pass a TOE-ICE examination.



(A)   The man is painting Shartlet O-Hairy’s portrait.

(B)   It is unknown why the man is using a model to do his paint-by-numbers artwork.

(C)   Mary Poppins was played by Julie Andrews…not this cheap tramp.

(D)   The piles of rotting seaweed are of more value than the artist’s amateur portrait.



(A)   Research for his upcoming role as a flight attendant has left Al Pacino exhausted.

(B)   The man has the same strap-in contraption in his bedroom.

(C)   The American Airline employee is supposed to be serving $3 bottles of water.

(D)   The steward couldn’t care less that a teenage couple is making a baby in the lavatory.



(A)   The world in general has about had enough of annoying Canadian hipsters.

(B)   It is a well-known fact that most members of Greenpeace are stoned out of their gourds.

(C)   The people are taking up valuable space that could be used to park vehicles.

(D)   It is a well-known fact that the vast majority of Greenpeace members only bathe twice a month.



(A)   The ladies will cut the ho who tries to take over their street corner.

(B)   One of the women has mistaken a trash receptacle for a toilet.

(C)   The cart has been filled with dozens of cans of cat food. And vodka.

(D)   Madonna’s legs are still smoking hot considering her age.



(A)   Three words: gay…for…pay.

(B)   Vanity is one of the seven deadly sins.

(C)   The tourists are taking pictures of themselves on holiday to post on Facebook and make their “friends” green with envy.

(D)   It has slipped the man’s mind that he LOOKS RIDICULOUS IN A SPEEDO.

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