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A COMPLETELY new type of practice test for you dolts!

March 30, 2011

Directions: Study the photos below, then read the answer choices. Each picture will have two or more people and questions including “what is the man/woman saying” or “what is the man/woman thinking.” Select the best answer for each question. Include your answers in comments after the post. Make sure to double-check your answers before failing…uh, I mean posting.

  

1. What is the woman saying?

(A) “There’s your wig right over there.”

(B) “If you extend your finger like this, you can use it to point at something.”

(C) “Your girlfriend is a whore.  That girl there looks like a decent, Christian woman.”

(D) “You really don’t want to smell my finger.”

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2. What is the man thinking?

(A) “I wonder if anyone realizes I’m not wearing any pants.”

(B) “I’m putting my finger on my cheek like this because then I look very thoughtful.”

(C) “I really do miss having hair.”

(D) “I’m stuck between a bulldozer and an air tunnel.”

_________________________________________________________________________

3. What is the woman thinking?

(A) “Candles are pretty.”

(B) “Maybe he just forgot to put his pants on. I do that all the time.”

(C) “If I tell him I’m pregnant then he will love me and marry me!”

(D) “Huh?”

 

1. What is the woman saying?

(A) “I wish there was a way to kill you AT&T sales reps with just my thoughts!”

(B) “Damn, bitch!  Call someone who cares!”

(C) “Just hanging out in the park with my arm around my invisible fiancé.”

(D) “Oh, I just roll him in flour and look for the wet spot.”

 

1. What is the woman saying?

(A) “The first thing I do in the morning is take a big poo.”

(B) “This list of winners has only one name on it and it isn’t any of your morons.”

(C) “Remember this one important thing; dying your hair too much will cause hair damage.”

(D) “Put your finger in front of your face and look at something in the distance. I know!  It’s amazing! It’s like you are seeing TWO fingers!”

1. What is the man saying?

(A) “I’m a homosexual so you ladies feel free to remove your tops.”

(B) “Both of you at the same time? You’re so funny. But I’m actually saving myself for marriage.”

(C) “I know, my mom picks out my clothes…it’s just hilarious!”

(D) “Of course I come here often. It’s my parent’s basement.”

_________________________________________________________________________

2. What is the woman saying?

(A) “Back off bitch. This stud is…actually, go ahead. You can have him.”

(B) “I just had some of that spinach dip. Can you check my teeth?”

(C) “Yes, it is funny how out of his league I actually am.”

(D) “It’s FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY!”

_________________________________________________________________________

3. What is the man thinking?

(A) “That guy just said he’s gay! I’m gettin’ me some of that!”

(B) “I’m just gonna sit here in a dark corner looking lonely and fabulous.”

(C) “It DOES feel different to pick the earwax out of my left ear with my right hand!”

(D) “Does anyone notice that I am surreptitiously massaging my groin?”

  

1. What is the man saying?

(A) “Balderdash my jolly old chap bibbity bobbity boo.”

(B) “I do believe, Winston, you will find my shirt is baby pink and not cherry blossom pink.”

(C) “Yes, this wine is indeed too fruity even for old queens like us.”

(D) “I would be much obliged if you could possibly take me to Funky Town.”

_________________________________________________________________________

2. What is the man saying?

(A) “Balderdash my jolly old chap bibbity bobbity boo.”

(B) “I do believe, Julius, you will find that your shirt was meant to be worn by a little girl.”

(C) “By putting one’s fingers here on the chin it is indicative that one is interested in a conversation even when one is not.”

(D) “What is this Funky Town you speak of? Is it in Bedfordshire?”

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